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: 12 June 2002 : What I Done On My Holidys by joe mahon Excuse the long absence. Here’s what I’ve been doing over the past couple of months, if anyone cares: Sunday 7th April Brother, sister and parents return from New York and tell me excitedly about the last few days. Lots of cool stuff. My dad says he met Ice T in Liddle Idaly, walking the other way along the street. MY DAD: Hey. Saturday 13th April Birthday party for Ben and John, two mates from home who I was at school then at college with. The party’s at Cirencester Rugby Club. It’s OK – nice to see lots of people I’d not been in touch with, and everyone from college got together for a big group photo. Mobile disco was pretty awful, but I always seem less keen on cheese than other people. It finished about midnight so I went to Incision, a d&b night at the town hall. There wasn’t anything like that when I still lived in Cirencester, lucky little buggers. Little bro and his mates were there, as well as a few people I’d not seen for ages. A bloke called Giles that was in my A-level French class was MCing in the smaller of the two rooms. And I met a bloke called Jamie and his brother Patrick – I’ve known both of them since I was about four and I haven’t seen them for years, so it was good to bump into them. Sunday 14th April Back to Oxford. Revision for the next four weeks and not much else. Missed a lot of concerts and things I really wanted to go to, not least All Tomorrow’s Parties. Interesting things written in my diary include Sunday 21st April MILK CHALLENGE A competition to see who could drink 8 pints of full fat milk in the fastest time. Needless to say, I wasn’t taking part, and only three of my mates ended up doing it. Ollie failed to finish because he was throwing up too much. Gareth drank all 8 pints in 56 minutes (though he was sick a couple of times in between). Steve was the winner – he finished all 8 pints in 32 minutes, which is pretty impressive. He said he didn't throw up until after he'd finished, too. Steve ascribed his success to the fact he'd been eating dry toast to get his stomach ready. Gareth and Ollie prepared by having a pint each at the pub.
Wednesday 24th April Went to the Phoenix to see The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in a new print from the BFI, with coloured tints. It had a live accompaniment, a bloke playing the dulcimer score he’d composed for it. One of the best things I’ve seen in a cinema – hopefully the BFI’ll release it on video. Saturday 27th April Today, the regular email I get advertising job vacancies included this advert: Kissogram Girls/Men Thursday 2nd May Drunken Angel at the cinema. 1948 Kurosawa film, his version of film noir. Excellent. And Throne of Blood, his samurai version of Macbeth, which was absolutely brilliant. I think part of the reason I loved it is because Macbeth's my favourite Shakespeare play, but everything about the film is really really good. Saturday 4th May FA Cup Final. Arsenal won. Hurrah! Steve made us eat choc ices at half-time, because he says it’s a tradition in his house and he wants to carry it on in college. He made us promise that if and when we have children we’ll continue the tradition of choc ices on Cup Final day. Sunday 5th May Mum and dad and sis came to visit for lunch (brother was MIA) – Loch Fyne fish restaurant, an exceptionally swish place and the food was great. I had oysters for a starter then a beautiful fillet of salmon. Yum. Typing this is making me want to go back, actually. There’s someone I’d really love to take for dinner there… maybe one day it’ll happen. Tuesday 7th May Felt very ill all day. I went to a lecture by Paul Muldoon, the Professor of Poetry, on Fernando Pessoa. It was great – lots of stuff about Pessoa’s love of the arcane and Aleister Crowley and Portuguese semantics and the cult of personality. Tom Paulin and Seamus Heaney were sitting together just a few rows away from me, which made me laugh. Three of the great names in modern Irish literature all in the same room. Threw up in evening. Cancelled drink with friend I was supposed to meet. Just about made it to the revision class the next day, but spent the rest of the week feeling knackered. Thursday 9th May Pre-exams formal dinner in college. I don my new suit and a fetching sky-blue tie and proceed to the dining hall, where I am given mediocre food and bored fucking rigid. Judy is a fellow English finalist from Connecticut who, despite being seemingly intelligent, maintains that the Star Wars franchise is the best thing to happen to film since the coming of sound. I don’t mind her holding this opinion, but commandeering the conversation so that nobody can get a word in edgeways is a bit out of order. Although, in a quiet moment, I did find out from Roger (by far the coolest of our tutors) that he’s a massive Dylan fan. I’d suspected this before, given that he once gave a lecture on orality and literacy which included him playing bits of Dylan songs, but I’d not realised just how much of a fan he was. Roger’s been to see him in concert 33 times, including when he lived in London and went to see Bob five nights on the trot. That’s a lot of Bob. Managed to avoid getting dragged to the Gallery (crappy club) after post-dinner drinks in the bar. Went to bed. Saturday 11th May Went to see a student production of Peer Gynt at the Playhouse, directed by someone I know. Johannes directed Léocadia, one of my sole forays into acting (I was Hector, which involved me speaking about five lines and being continually bossed around by the Duchess, played by my incredibly bossy friend; quelle busman’s holiday) and I really hoped it would be good. Sadly, I found it pretty boring. I’m not sure how much it was Ibsen’s fault and how much it was Johannes’, though the direction was pretty flat in places. What made it worse was that as soon as the curtain had dropped for the interval he came over to me and asked me what I thought. I answered him honestly and told him I was a bit bored. “Oh,” he said, and we talked for a bit before he got bored himself and went to find someone less critical. I felt like a bastard, but honesty’s important. Erm. Yeah… never mind. I was disappointed, though. Monday 13th May First exam, 0930 – 1230. One every morning all this week. I get into a routine of revising till about 0400, getting up at 0700 to have breakfast and look over notes, and then having a nap in the afternoon after the exam before getting up to revise for the next one. Friday 17th May 1230 – come out of exam and go to the pub. No more exams till Thursday. Go punting in the afternoon with some others till about 2200. When we go back towards the boathouse it’s dark and it feels like we’re in Apocalypse Now! Tuesday 21st May Go to the English Faculty to see Philip Pullman reading from his novels and answering questions. Although I arrive five minutes before it’s due to start, the woman closes the door before I get there because it’s absolutely packed. So instead I go to the library and revise Skelton, who is rubbish. Thursday 23rd May Second last exam – Renaissance literature. I write a load of shit. Probably the worst paper. Friday 24th May Last exam. Everyone is grinning. Mates waiting outside when we finish – we go to the Turf – several pints – joint passed round (v nice) – leave pub and go to KFC for food – another pub – college. Change out of stupid suit and white bow tie and sit on the lawn to smoke some more. Blissful. Went to the Cellar in the evening, which was fantastic. I’d been thinking all day that I wanted to hear some breaks. They were playing funk when we went in, so I stood around for a bit just drinking and talking, but then “Super Sharp Shooter” came on and it all kicked off. A night of high-quality drum & bass was had by all. Chelsea Clinton was there, standing by the bar, so Bligh decided to go and chat her up with one of the best lines I’ve ever heard: BLIGH: You’ve got really pretty eyes. My name’s Bligh, what’s yours? Sheer genius. It was a great night, and a great way to finish exams. On this happy note I think I’ll draw this entry to a close – I’ll write the second part of it later to bring you up to date, since this has turned out longer than I expected. See you soon. Be good.
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